Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Still just a baby.

I quit my job two weeks ago. Ever since, I've been sleeping, watching t.v. and hanging out.
I'm not gonna complain, it's been nice. I still have a few hundred bucks to keep the cigarette and food flow going.
Don't miss it, one bit.
When I think about it right now, I realize that it has semi-fixed my mood.
I find myself not as monotonous.

Mike and I have been together for a year and a half.
He's the only person I've been able to be around every single day and still smile when I watch him sleep.
Though we've had serious ditches in the road, we sew patches on the tires still.
I can barely believe it. He is my best friend.

The weather is playing tricks on my mind. Every time it rains I remember someone telling me,
"When libras cry, it rains."

Should be hearing from NECI (the new england culinary institute) in Vermont soon.
If I get accepted it will be one of the happiest days of my life.
Even if I decide not to go to VT, I'll still feel so accomplished.

I visited Rachel's grave yesterday.
Rachel and Serena were born on the same exact day.
I got goosebumps and daydream of her still being alive.
I grazed my fingers against the grass above her to pick up the fallen rain,
and pressed it against my wrist where her turtle is.
I miss her so much.
I've stayed off drugs for her, I look at the bright side for her.

1 comment:

  1. SO many images of that fateful Friday that we lost Rachael continue to haunt me...permanently burned into my mind and held deep in my heart. Within that loss, I have found. For that I am forever indebted to a seven year old child who is in another place. I hope you find that "key" to your inner self... to unlock the preciousness that you possess. Always FEEL, always UNDERSTAND, and always write your heart.

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